Mr & Mrs Shepherd
by elisaday16
Summary: Future AU. Meredith and Derek are having problems in their marriage. Can a therapist help them?
1. Chapter 1

_AN: New story! This one's about Meredith & Derek (married) having a few ... let's say problems. So, they go to a therapist. Just read it ... and REVIEW! ... Uhm ... yeah ... soo ... have fun._

_Helen_

**Mr & Mrs Shepherd**

Therapist: ''So why are you here, Mr and Mrs Shepherd?''

Derek: ''It's „Doctor" Shepherd actually. We're doctors. Saving lives ... and stuff, you know.''

Meredith (rolling eyes): ''It doesn't matter, Derek. Let's be just Mr and Mrs Shepherd for once in our lives, okay?!''

Derek (raising his eyebrows): ''Well, it does matter to me. I'm a doctor and that's a fact. It's like my middle name. If being a doctor is only a hobby to you ... not my problem. But I'm a doctor.''

Meredith (raising her voice slightly): ''A hobby? You think I went through the whole shit because being a doctor is a hobby to me?!''

Derek (inhaling deeply): ''See, that's what I told you.''

Meredith (looking dumbfounded): ''That's what ... what?! That doesn't make any sense, Derek. To be exact, I can't remember you saying anything logical ever''

Derek (shaking his head): ''Wait, wait, ... wait. You think you have the right to talk about being logical?!''

Meredith: ''Yes, I do!''

Derek: ''So drowning on purpose is logical? Twice?''

Therapist (raising his eyebrows): ''You drowned, Mrs Shepherd?''

Derek: ''On purpose. Twice.''

Meredith: ''No, no, that ... was a ... difficult phase for me. That doesn't count.''

Derek: ''Hmm ... I think I'll be having a difficult phase on Monday too. But that's okay, I'll just drown myself.''

Meredith: ''So funny, Derek, really. Very non-funny kind of funny but yes, ... very funny.''

Derek: ''Of course I'm funny. Being a doctor isn't easy, you know. A little humor is definitely necessary then.''

Meredith (glaring): ''I know that being a doctor isn't easy. If I'd wanted easy I would've become a vet.''

Derek (clenching his teeth): ''Yeah ... a vet. I don't like vets. They're idiots. All of them.''

Meredith (under her breath): ''Well, what a surprise ...''

Therapist: ''Why don't you like vets, Mr ...-Dr Shepherd? Is there any personal meaning behind that?''

Meredith: ''No.''

Derek (at the same time): ''Yes.''


	2. Chapter 2

Therapist: ''Okay, the last time we left off at the ... vet. Tell me about it.''

Derek: ''That's easy. She had an affaire with the vet.''

Meredith: ''No, I did not! Liar!''

Derek: ''You sure as hell did! You betrayed me! Cheater!''

Meredith: ''We weren't even a couple back then, we were friends! If I remember correctly you were with your _wife_ back then.''

Derek (glaring): ''Leave Addison out of this.''

Therapist: ''You were married before, Dr. Shepherd?''

Meredith: ''Yes.''

Derek (at the same time): ''Barely.''

Meredith: ''Barely?! How can you be barely married?!''

Derek: ''When you're in love with an intern ... you can.''

Meredith: ''_Love_. Funny. Didn't you choose Addison over me?''

Derek (clenching his teeth): ''I _had_ to.''

Meredith (snorting): ''Yeah. Sure ...''

Derek: ''What's your problem?!''

Meredith (raising her voice): ''You are my damn problem! Did anyone _force_ you to choose your wife?! It was your choice! Yours!''

Derek: ''Wife clearly wins against slutty intern.''  
Meredith (exhaling sharply): ''God ... you don't get it. You just don't. And unfortunately ... you probably won't ever.''

Derek (throwing his hands up in the air): ''Well, then fuckin' tell me!''

Meredith (looking away): ''No. I don't want to anymore ... I'm tired.''

Derek (raising his voice): ''Oh _fine_! Now you're freakin' tired of me! Great ... join a club with Addison and cheat on me with Mark!''

Meredith (yelling): ''Fine! Maybe I'll just do exactly that!''

Derek (yelling): ''Fine!''

Therapist: ''Okay ... let's just caaaalm down everybody.''

Meredith: ''I _am_ calm.''

Derek (snorting): ''Yeah, calm my ass ...''

Therapist: ''Would you two just-''

Meredith: ''You get that you're sleeping on the couch tonight, right?''

Therapist: ''Now _please_ listen-''

Derek (narrowing his eyes): ''Well, maybe I don't even want to sleep in the same house with you tonight!''

Meredith (also narrowing her eyes): ''Then why not make the _tonight_ an _anymore_, right?!''

Therapist: ''Chrm ... could you-''

Derek: Good. I'll get a hotelroom then!''

Meredith: ''Do that! I'll ask _Markie_ to come over then!''

Derek (crossing his arms over his chest): ''Why not invite the vet too?''

Meredith (doing the same): ''Brilliant idea! Thank you very much.''

Therapist (standing up): ''As much as I would want to ... _listen_ to you an hour more ... or so, we have to continue tomorrow. The next couple is already is already waiting outside.''

_REVIEW!!!!_


	3. Chapter 3

Therapist: ''Good evening. This time I don't want to ... pick up the _conversation_ from yesterday. I'd rather ask you a few questions. Is that okay?''

(Both nod in agreement)

Therapist: ''Good. Do you love each other?''

Meredith: ''Of course! I mean, maybe there have been a few problems ...''

Derek (at the same time): ''D_e_finitely! She's my .. uhm ... wife! I sure do love her.''

Meredith (grimacing): ''Wife? You didn't love Addison although she was your wife!''

Derek: ''That's not the point. And besides, I did love her before she cheated on me with that bastard.''

Meredith: ''It's Mark, Derek. You mean Mark.''

Derek (raising his eyebrows): ''What?! Are you defending him now?!''

Therapist: ''Stop, stop, stop! We aren't talking about ... that now. Do you have children?''

Derek (his voice an octave higher): ''No, we don't. Meredith over there isn't interested.''

Meredith (wide-eyed): ''Not true! I want children!''

Derek (glaring): ''Great! And you're telling me that _now_?!''

Meredith (also glaring): ''Well, when_ then_?!''

Derek (raising his voice): ''Perhaps on our damn honeymoon when I asked you if you wanted children!''

Meredith (sinking lower in her seat): ''Oh.''

Therapist: ''Uhm ... okay. Next question: How happy are you in your marriage?''

Meredith: ''Happy?''

Therapist: ''Yes, in your marriage.''

Derek: ''So ... uhm ... referring to the last three months ... or what?''

Meredith (nodding): ''Yeah, I don't get that either.''

Therapist: ''Let's say referring to the last six months.''

Meredith: ''Okay. But ... what about arguments? Because ... when we were having an argument I ... wasn't happy. I mean ... that makes sense, doesn't it?''

Derek (giving her a nod): ''I'm not sure about that either. What situations are we supposed to think of?''

Meredith (putting a strand of hair behind her ear): ''Yeah, that should be explained.''

Therapist (scribbling something on his notepad): ''No, I'm talking about your happiness in general. In those six months.''

Derek: ''Hm. Okay. So, uhm ... like ... _extremely happy_, _very happy_, _happy_, _not really happy_ -''

Therapist: ''Let's say on a scale from 1 to 10.''

Meredith (giving a small smile): ''With 10 being the happiest or -''

Therapist (nodding): ''Right. 10 being as happy as it can get and 1 being not happy at all.''

Derek (nodding): ''Okay, fine. On 3, Mer?''

Meredith: ''Yes, on 3.''

Derek: ''1 ...''

Meredith: ''2 ...''

Derek: ''7.''

Meredith (at the same time): ''6.''

Derek (looking at her with raised eyebrows): ''A _6_ ?!''

Therapist: ''Okay, next question. Discussions later. How many times do you have sex in a week? Weekend counts too.''

Meredith (looking at Derek, mouth open): ''I don't understand the question.''

_REVIEW!!! (I know there are a few things stolen from Mr. & Mr. Smith)_


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